I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
