yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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