So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
