Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
