She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize