Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize