Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
