OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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