My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
