if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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