Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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