I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
