Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize