paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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