You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
