I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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