My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize