About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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