Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
