I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
