i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She told me I should be a condom model.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
