he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
