if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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