Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
