I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My ass is underappreciated
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
