i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize