She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
