I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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