I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
