yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
