Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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