gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize