Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
