I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Of course I have a pirate flag
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
