It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
last night I used snow as a chaser
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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