i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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