I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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