i just had sex bonerless
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
