I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
