I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
