one might say we're banned from that church
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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