I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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