what day is it and did you see me today?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
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