Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize