I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Pooping to opera.
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