help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
