Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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