Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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