well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You made out with two different species that night
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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