Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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