She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
