So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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