I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
