hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
