peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
