If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
