I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
