Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
This is the high leading the old right now
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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