2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
