When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
